Too much gourmet food..

Now, I generally don't take on 'heavy' topics, not because it isn't fun, but because, well uh, it isn't fun.  So it is with this sense of enthusiasm I give you The Great American Health Care Debate  (caps are mine).  Oh, and by the way, the reason for the gourmet food title, won't make much sense until the end, at which point, it may make no sense.

Other than knowing we are all #$%@#ed  when it comes to health care, I don't pay much attention to all the political debates about the topic.  I just pay my bills, complain, and look with envy at countries like Canada and France.  Countries that didn't even register on the map for me as having something cooler than stuff we have here.

So, it all starts with the presidential candidates having to take a stand on things, and health care is a big one for the old U S of A.  So, let's jump in on one of the candidates and see if we can summarize their plan here goes, this is John McCain's.. pay attention here, it's really long and involves lot's of fixes:

Eliminate a tax break for employees who receive health insurance from employers and replace it with a tax credit of up to $5,000 per family for the purchase private coverage.

Okay, I lied about the long part, and, actually the fix part.  

And, just to make sure, that if you were an administrator at a national health care provider, and you were listening to his speech, and you didn't get what he was saying he went on to say that his plan doesn't require health insurers to accept applicants with pre-existing medical conditions, since as McCain put it, that would "be mandating what the free enterprise system does."  That's like saying we're not going to require firemen to put out your house that's on fire, because, that's like, way too expensive.

McCain goes on to say, not realizing that the audience was beginning to grumble, that the proposal would strengthen the private health insurance market and make coverage more affordable for many low-income families.

Let me get this right.  Insurance companies don't have to take anyone with pre existing conditions, they can charge what they want, and we'll rely on their honest nature not to all raise rates together.  And, as a result all middle and low income families can now rest easy.

Okay, so I'm not the only one that realized that this wasn't a really brilliant scheme - 'brilliant' here meaning every middle class and poor family in the country who isn't married to a governmental employee might as well give it up and buy the Boy Scouts Medical Manual, a large box of Sponge Bob Square Pants Band-Aids, and some anti-depressants.

Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of former Democratic presidential contender John Edwards, chimmed in and said that she and John McCain had one thing in common:

"Neither one of us would be covered by his health policy. Under McCain's plan, insurance companies wouldn't have to cover preexisting conditions like melanoma and breast cancer,"

(McCain has been treated for melanoma, the most serious type of skin malignancy. Edwards in 2004 was diagnosed with breast cancer). (LA Times)

Well, thanks to her going public with this kind of obvious remark, the public acually woke up for a minute and started asking questions. So McCain's group ran around and came up with a short, witty, well thought out addendum to his original plan:

McCain has said that he might help residents with pre-existing medical conditions through a:

"special provision including additional trust funds for Medicaid payments or high-risk pools.use savings in Medicaid to finance additional tax credits for residents with pre-existing medical conditions - the amount of the credit hasn't been determined, the possibility of extracting enough savings from Medicaid is debatable, and it is unclear whether a credit would be enough to persuade an insurance company to accept a person who would be likely to have large medical expenses,"  (The Globe).

Oh, that sounds like it wouldn't take more than oh, say, five years to set up, administer, find fault with and can.

For my money, all the candidates, from both sides will spend endless hours discussing health care over the coming months, and in the end, nothing will happen, except a token bill or two which will be revealed with much fanfare in front of an adoring crowd then forgotten.

So, what I'm recommending for all Americans is the following - buy at least $100 of lottery tickets a month, putting your winnings towards your own personal health care plan, start the 5-7 year task of getting a Canadian Visa, get a government job, or marry a governmental employee, and stay as healthy as possible. 

Barring that, buy a membership in a Hawaiian Resort Club that I read was sued by one of its guests for 'supplying too much gourmet food and too much sex', and plan on spending your final days on a beach towel drinking lots of drinks with funny names all with umbrellas in them.