Committee of eminent persons

I'm feeling very special and I thought I'd share the good will.  I just received an email that brought two pieces of wonderful news.  First I was to be invited to become a member of icep - The Independent Committee of Eminent Persons, and second, I had, sometime in the past, been adopted, unbeknownst to me, by a wealthy man who just died leaving me his fortune.

The invitation, and notice of riches came to me from no other than Dr. Garrett Kenneth.  In his letter to Dr. Garrett informed me that:

"You could be listed as an Heir in the codicil and last testament of the deceased since you bore the surname Identity".

As you can imagine I was distressed to learn of the demise of someone from the Identity family.  Now, I don't personally don't know any of the Identitys, but I'm certain they are fine people, and my heart goes out to them.  I'm just pleased that somewhere along the line someone in the family adopted me.

I'm not sure why Dr. Garret says that I ‘could' be listed as an Heir, since it seems to me you're either listed or not, but no matter, I'll accept anyway.

Apparently I'm to inherit ‘Twelve million six hundred thousaund United states dollars'.  I'm assuming his spelling of ‘thousand', and his thoughtful reminder that it was Unites states dollars, are simply the way people of the icep speak.

Now, don't get me wrong, but while I love a good committee just as well as the next person, I think I'll just tell the good Dr. that I'd prefer the inheritance and forget the nomination - eminent or not.  What with all that money I don't want to waste my time in endless committee meetings and all.

All I have to do now is pay for the call to the United Kindom.